In the fall of 2023, I deactivated my Instagram.

After posting obsessively for over a year on the app about my travels I was starting to get the sense that it was taking way more of my attention than it deserved in return for how it was helping me achieve my goals (i.e. almost none).

And I had no plan for, and still don't, how long I expect to keep it deactivated.

Ironically as a response, I recently have found myself jumping into Facebook and Messenger, even for a few short minutes, to answer messages from friends.

While rushing through Facebook this past week, a repost from a friend caught my eye.

It was this...

At first glance, I was a little disturbed by this, but I couldn’t quite identify why. (And, ironically, it wasn't the little disfigured lawn gnome on the sidewalk.)

I proceeded to pass over it and carry on with my day.

Earlier this week, while again rushing into Facebook to the Messenger icon, the same image, reposted time by a different Facebook friend, leaped out at me.

This time I paused. I felt the same uncertainty about what this image is trying to communicate.

I wanted to reflect on my feelings, to dig into why this image bothered me. I asked myself, “As a gay man, why am I bothered by this? What specifically about this makes me uneasy?”

The one thing that stands out to me is the ending: “...my pride flag.” It became clear to me. I want to explain my thinking on this and its relevance to the broader cultural challenges our country is currently facing.

This image communicates that the LGBTQIA+ Pride Flag, “that’s your pride flag” and, the United States Flag, “this is my pride flag.”

The LGBTQIA+ Pride Flag is everyone’s Pride flag.

June is Pride Month. To me, Pride Month is not just a time to be proud about being gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex, or just accepting your queerness, whatever that might mean to you. It’s a month to celebrate sexuality as part of our humanity, no matter what your, my, or anyone's sexuality might be.

It's about your freedom to be proud of what makes you colorful and unique.

A is for Ally

Often, when we think about the acronym LGBTQIA+, I find that people frequently forget about the significance of the A.

The A stands for Ally.

And just like the other letters in the acronym, A is no less important and should garner no less respect and celebration.

It’s not LGBTQI-a. No. It’s LGBTQI-A. Capital "A".

The celebration of Pride Month is celebrating all forms of sexuality. It’s about being proud of all shades of sexual expression, no matter what it is.

If I could choose an image to be shared and reposted in place of the one about, it would look something like this:

By choosing to raise the Pride flag or donning the rainbow colors this month, we express solidarity in the belief that everyone should have the freedom to be who they are, whether they be gay, straight, or anywhere in between.

I am proud to be a U.S. citizen in part because my country safeguards my liberty to express openly who I am. Furthermore, I am proud of the millions of allies who stand both with me and for me to keep that a reality.