I believe that we all have found ourselves, at least once, in a situation where our communication skills have been challenged, stretched and put to the test. 

For me, I feel that my most trying times in communication are when I feel torn between communicating what’s needed while also keeping my actions in alignment with my values.

Attitudes shape how we communicate

This past week I had a great conversation with a business associate about communications approaches. At the end of our conversation, she shared with me a TEDx video. She said that she really found it valuable and supported her opinion on the topic.

After watching this video, for me it too turned out to be an invaluable resource, giving me a mental scaffolding on which to think about communications and attitudes.

In her 2017 TEDxGenova talk, Own Your Behaviours, Master Your Communication, Determine Your Success, Louise Evans explains how in every interaction we have a choice between five different attitudes, or perspectives, which dictate how we communicate.

The power of a mental model

The power of Evans’ presentation is in how she spatially lays out, through her storytelling, a mental model — a conceptual framework — where we see that we can step in and out of five different perspectives.

Mental models, or frameworks, can help us improve the way that we understand abstract concepts. They help us interpret the world and understand the relationship between often abstract things. 

As James Clear says in his blog post on mental models:

Next time you find yourself in a challenging situation, stop. Take a second to reflect on the different attitudes lenses through which you can perceive the situation.

Take a contrarian, empathic perspective to interrogate hasty conclusions built on assumptions. How would this affect the way you communicate and the response of the person you are interacting with?